Our mission
statement declares that, “Sister Namibia
wants to inspire and equip women to make free choices and act
as agents of change in our relationships, our communities and ourselves.”
Everyone knows what making free choices means, but
when I look at the types of relationships that women enter with men, I am
certain that many women do not understand what being (an) “...agent(s) of change in (a) relationship...” really means.
The
term “agency” typically refers to 1) control
over resources, 2) the person’s ability
to move freely, 3) decision making over family formation, 4) freedom from the
risk of violence and 5) the ability to have a voice in society and influence.
The opposite of agency – in its extreme form - is being a victim; Someone who is at the mercy of
others, or to whom something happens without that person having an influence in
the matter.
A publication[1]
cites inter-generational sex, multiple and concurrent sexual partners of men
specifically, inconsistent condom use, and transactional sex as major drivers
of HIV infection and unwanted pregnancies in Namibia.
Interviews
conducted with young girls revealed that the biggest fear of school-going girls
is “falling” pregnant. We in Namibia are familiar with the “fact” that
pregnancy, especially of young women, is something that “happens” to one. The implication of this is that women have no
influence or responsibility in reproductive matters. Men decide that they would
have unprotected sex with women and women accept this – sometimes are shocked
and dismayed at the unwanted pregnancy or undesired STI that may result. One
often hears women in Namibia stating that she has to “give” a man a child or
that she has to be able to “produce” if she is to remain attractive to men. A
woman who cannot “produce” a child for a man, is not worth anything.
Granted
that too many women are coerced/ cajoled into compromising sexual relationships
in Namibia, it is necessary to ask why so many women, in consensual
relationships with men, are delegating agency – ie, the responsibility for one
self - so easily when it comes to sexual relationships? Agency as
responsibility would dictate that women can and do negotiate about the terms of
their relationships with men. Not only that they negotiate the terms, but that
we actively take all steps necessary to prevent falling pregnant or
contracting/ spreading a disease.
Common
knowledge dictates that men are not reliable, that they are selfish and that
they are merely interested in showing their sexual prowess, which, for many,
involves proving their “manhood” by having “fathered” – read spawned – x number
of children by as many women. In this context, it becomes imperative for women
– and women alone - to know the risks, to make a conscious decision to either
become pregnant or not.
As
far as the transmission of STIs and HIV is concerned, it is here that the
woman’s agency should be non-negotiable in a relationship. She should not make
any compromise to her DEMAND for safety and her insistence on the use of a
condom. No amount of cajoling and sweet talk should convince her otherwise.
As
a responsible women’s rights organization, it is necessary that we interrogate
structural issues that render power over women to men. However a responsible
and responsive women’s organization will also have to explore the ways in which
women connive and delegate power to men.
Therefore, this is not an attempt to blame women for unwanted
pregnancies or the prevalence of HIV in Namibia, merely, it is a call for
women, specifically young women, to become aware of the responsibility that
they have towards themselves – if to no one else – and to TAKE agency – as
responsibility and control, over their
sexuality and their rights.
If
we don’t do it, no-one else will.
[1] HIV/AIDs in Namibia: Behavioral and Contextual
Factors Driving the Epidemic, Ministry of Health and Social Services
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